I've got a new attitude

It's been a hard year for me in that my body has not cooperated the way that it should. I have come to know my body better than I ever would've thought possible. I know every little muscle and every little bone and every little tendon or ligament and how they are supposed to feel during different parts of the year.

In winter my pain is never below an eight out of 10 on the pain scale. In the spring and fall it is the most fluctuating time for my body pain. Summer is awesome. I've always loved summer but in the last several years I have gained an appreciation for it that I've never known before. The hotter it is the absolute better I feel. It's as close to feeling normal as I can ever feel.

This year due to health complications I didn't get my July and August in the way I normally do. I was very sick and bedrest for those two months. Since then it's been one thing after another and I am not feeling good at all. I am already dreading winter because I'm not getting the break from the intense pain that I usually have. Because of that I have been really down with my mood. Jay has said I've been more negative as well.Because I don't want to be negative or a Debbie downer, I have been searching books, searching the Internet, and the Bible, to try to find something that clicks with me that helps me. I have read many wonderful things that I have printed out and put into a notebook that I keep, but there just wasn't one thing that really resonated with me.

I called my pastor and went in to visit with him and explain the situation. He explained to me that it's OK for me to get down, it's OK for me to be frustrated, that even Jesus experienced frustration. That's part of being human. The key is to not stay there. Every February or March I start to get excited knowing that I've endured another winter and that spring is knocking at the door. I know that the best days are yet to come. Pastor explained that this is what I need to focus on all through the year, good days and bad days. No matter how bad my days are here on earth,  I have an eternal home where there will never be any more pain, no more tears, no more frustration. He shared a reading in the Bible that immediately clicked with me:

2 Corinthians 4: 

8We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair.9We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed... 16That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. 17For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! 18So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

How awesome is that?

For me that kind of goes along with my favorite song which is "Because He Lives I Can Face Tomorrow."